Duality is your physical world. You have hot, you have cold. You have day, you have night. You have Ying, You have Yang. That is what the physical world is based on.
Everybody participates in duality. Dualistic thought-form tells you that you have to label things as good or bad. Ok, most people do that, so you have somebody that you love and they're not acting loving, so what happens? You start thinking this is bad, this person is not a good influence, this is not a good thing for me, I don't feel good, they don't feel good, what is the point in this?
So then what happens is you start trying to build barriers, you build barriers when you judge something as bad and when you judge something as good, you try to lock it in, you try to own it, to hold it, to grasp it, so it won't leave.
As you can imagine, when you try to hold on to something, what do you think that does to the dynamic? It is suffocating, it is not allowing it to breathe, to be, to be fluid, to move.
So a barrier and grasping have the same kind of end result. Both of these leave the connections jeopardised and they cannot flow or move as they are meant to but if you make friends with the dualistic nature, then things can start to change.
How do we do that, first to understand the dualistic nature doesn't have to be the way that you perceive things, so come from a place of non-duality and then you are rising above this and making friends with this.
Step outside of duality and then you become non-dualistic ~ Amy North
Take yourself away from the need to judge at all, from the dualistic thought-forms and you move outside of that. You can think of it as rising above, stepping outside, whatever you want but you are outside of the dualistic thinking and therefore you are able to think and feel and sense and know this person in a way that is genuine.
You step outside of duality and then you become non-dualistic. Everything has the right to exist and give everything the space to have their independence to speak with their own voice, in their own way. Love everything enough to do that.